@Anonymous "how do you do it? How do you just say to the world you are gay? Is it friends? lack of important ties or the opposite? I dont have it in me to do the same. please tell me your secret"
Well for a long time I couldn’t tell my closest friends, never mind the world. Some of my closest friends were the hardest to tell actually… because I felt like they would be disappointed that I didn’t trust them enough to tell them sooner.
I don’t think I had a “secret” to coming out. I wasn’t comfortable coming out until I tested the waters about how the people I was coming out to felt about homosexuality. I was fortunate that most of my friends were pretty liberal and open-minded about the idea. Talk about another gay person neutrally, and see what comments they make. So as not to be overwhelmed or get more than I bargained for, I told only a few people first who I already knew would be cool with it based on things I’d heard them say. I was honestly surprised by how interesting I became to my friends, and of course they all still loved me and were completely respectful about the whole thing. Since that worked out, I told another friend… and another. Now it’s just gotten to the point where I don’t care because my whole network of friends/family have known for a while and are totally cool with it.
Before I had the courage to tell my parents, which I’m pretty sure I told myself I would do when I “moved away to college,” they accidentally made their own discovery with the home computer’s Internet history. Actually, I think it was probably easier that way. They sat me down and had already prepared themselves for the news… they were supportive and the whole issue wasn’t awkward often nor for very long. Again, lucky.
If I could give any advice it would be to come out slowly. Don’t get excited and make any hefty decisions; think them through and take small steps with the people you think you can trust. And just keep reminding yourself, if any of your “friends” hate you after they find out, they were not really your friend and you’re better off without that kind of person. Even today I don’t “broadcast” it. People who are closer in my life know, people eventually find out as they get to know me, but not because I make it a disclaimer. And it’s never turned into a “thing” with anyone. I don’t hide it or advertise it. I’m a lot more expressive on Tumblr because that’s what it’s for, and most of the people who look at my blog are complete strangers anyway.
I’ve seen a lot of people come out and every time 99% of their friends change nothing about how they view them… the person who ends up feeling the worst is the person who ridicules you, because truthfully he will be the minority.